70's Fashion Makes A Comeback In The Norties

Why oh why have we not come up with a decent name for this new millennium. Seriously. We spent the 50 years leading up to the year 2000 looking forward to how wonderful it would be and nobody thought to come up with a name that didn't sound utterly ridiculous to describe the decade. That's human short-sightedness for you, isn't it?

Anyway, according to Elle Magazine gurus, the 70's are coming back. Which is nice, because a lot of the fashions they're touting as being 'in' any minute now are fashions that my mother still has in her wardrobe. On the downside, this is going to reinforce her idea that it is bad to throw old clothing away and we'll be stuck with her power suits until well after most of Earth's population has relocated to Mars.

So the 70's are back. Is it just me, or are fashions coming back into fashion quicker than they can go out of fashion these days? And if they are, could this be a symptom of something more deep amiss with the universe? Scientists recently predicted (again) that we might run out of time. That is to say, the universe would stop expanding and time, as we know it, would cease to exist. Cause would cease to lead to effect and we'd all be left sitting there in mid butt-scratch for the rest of, well, not time. Sorry to get all quantum on you there, but as Elle announces that we're going to be doing the 70's all over again, well, it almost seems as if fashion is predicting the end of time.

Think about it, it is the year 2010, and we're reviving fashions from not just the 70's but also the 80's as quick as we can remember them. If this trend continues, we'll be in fluro pink legwarmers by 2012, (which will be known as the end of the fashion world), then back into power suits by 2015, and by 2020, fashion will have caught up with itself and Vogue will be announcing that this week's big thing is whatever last week's big thing was, and shortly thereafter, the world will implode on itself.

In the meantime however, you can now get away with wearing a lot of beige and gold clothing, feathery long hairstyles, big roundy sunglasses (as if they ever went out of style), fake fur coats (which make you look fat by the way, they really do), and slacks with creases down the front, yes, creases down the front, even for ladies.

Men, time to grow your Tom Selleck mustaches back in!