Chiffon Dresses

Chiffon is a light fabric once associated almost exclusively with the elderly, but in recent years it has been steadily making a comeback, much like Madonna, revolutionizing itself to the point where it is now often completely unrecognizable (though fortunately it hasn't developed wiry old lady biceps big enough to strangle a wildebeest, unlike the subject of my thinly strung together metaphor).

You think you know what a chiffon dress looks like? You have no idea what a chiffon dress looks like. You could be wearing one now and not even know it!

To re-educate you on the nature of the new chiffon, or neochiffon, as it is sometimes called by fans, let's have a look at some interesting chiffon dresses.

Chiffon was featured in the movie Titanic in this beautiful flowing gown that in many ways, made being old school totally sexy again. Perfect for going out to dinner, or barely surviving a maritime disaster, this chiffon gown elegantly covers all contingencies.

This little black chiffon dress is sexy and forgiving of figure flaws that may be evident in more svelte pieces of clothing. The rouching under the breasts provides the effect of a curvy shape whilst hiding the arbitrarily less attractive curves underneath. Win/win, baby!

Taking the chiffon effect to extremes, we have this lavender number. This chiffon dress is by Dior, and conspires to make a size 0 model look like a puffball. If you're trying to hide a pregnancy, or have a beer belly and skinny legs, this dress will present you in the best possible light. This chiffon dress cost $2,000, whereas the one above costs $11.00. Nothing in the world makes any sense anymore. Unless, of course, you factor in the whole 'sweatshop labor' element of the equation, which means that pretty dresses can be run up for just a few cents by people who have no other choice of employment. Serves them right for being born in a third world nation. That's just careless.

Kate Moss got in on the chiffon act in her top shop range, creating this one shoulder chiffon dress. I'm nor sure why only one shoulder, perhaps it aids in finding a vein in a sticky situation? Ha, just kidding, this dress won't save you from your irresponsible recreational activities, but it will make you look incredibly stylish in the emergency room afterwards, which is really half the fun.