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Khloe Kardashian The Sexy Giant

Updated on November 12, 2010

Guess Which One Is Khloe - Go on, Guess...

Okay, so Khloe Kardashian may not be a giant, but put her next to her buxom sister Kim Kardashian, and she certainly looks it. Khloe has styled herself as being the 'wise' Kardashian, which makes sense I suppose. Perhaps she aims to be the thinking man's Kim Kardashian. However without some breast and butt implants, poor Khloe is probably doomed to forever be stuck in the shadow of her more diminutive but much more curvaceous sister.

At present, Kim fills her days co-owning a styling company called 'Dash', and being Kim's personal assistant. Damn, how much would that have to suck. I don't know about the rest of you but my siblings and I spent our collective childhood doing our level best to assassinate one another without being caught. Imagine the humiliation that must come from having your sister as your boss. I'm reminded very strongly of the Whitney Houston film 'The Bodyguard', where it turns out that Whitney's jealous sister is the one behind all the vile attempts on her life. Kim should be careful. How easy would it be to implant explosives into the high heel of a sexy pair of shoes, or perhaps even inject her butt implants (sorry, alleged butt implants) with a chemical substance that makes them swell uncontrollably until they explode. I'll stop now because I'm probably just giving Khloe ideas, and I don't want to go down with her when the Kevin Costner lookalike foils her evil plans.

Come to think of it, a guy named Kevin really would make the perfect partner for Kim. He'd fit right in with the rest of the family, which is probably important. But we're digressing on to Kim again, I bet Khloe hates it when that happens, I bet it makes her want to take a pair of scissors and just start hacking the eyes out of magazine photos and make a creepy montage out of them. I'm not sure why crazy and dangerous people always do that, but it would appear they do, so who am I to question their methods.

Back to Khloe. Khloe is largely considered to be the voice of reason amongst the krazy Kardashians. She is known to be witty and sarcastic (witty is another word for 'funny', which is often the refuge of ugly people who are too poor for plastic surgery.)

What does the future hold for Khloe? I don't know, but I would advise her to avoid planting charges in a boat moored at a remote lake getaway. That never turns out well for anyone.

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