You Are Not Your Panties

(With apologies and accreditation to the Dust Brothers, Fight Club, and Tyler Durden aka Brad Pitt)

And you open the door and you step inside

We're inside our wardrobes

Now imagine your panties as a white ball of healing light

That's right, your panties The panties themselves are a white ball of healing light

I don't think so

 

For men who wear lingerie, or rather, desire to wear lingerie but feel that it is inherently wrong, lingerie can become an obsession. Sitting at the center of the psyche, all thoughts seem to lead to lingerie. All things would be good if only he could wear lingerie. Perhaps there is a disapproving spouse in the picture. She'd never agree to his wearing lingerie, perhaps fearing that he will start calling him self Agnes and become the woman she never knew he could be.

 

This is your life, good to the last drop

Doesn't get any better than this

This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time

This isn't a seminar, this isn't a weekend retreat

Where you are now you can't even imagine what your bottom will feel like in pure silk panties,

Only after disaster can we be resurrected It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything

Nothing is static, everything is appaling, everything is falling apart

 

This is your life. Many men who wear lingerie have discovered that the wearing of lingerie frees them not only from their inhibitions, but from their relationships with inhibited women. But beware, for freedom in lingerie is a false freedom.

 

This is your life, this is your life, this is your life, this is your life

Doesn't get any better than this

This is your life, this is your life, this is your life, this is your life

And it and it's ending one-minute at a time

You are not your bank account

You are not the clothes you wear

You are not the contents of your wallet

You are not your bowel cancer

You are not your grande latte

You are not the car you drive

You are not your fucking khaki's

 

You are not your panties.

 

You have to give up, you have to give up

You have to realize that someday you will die

Until you know that, you are useless

I say let me never be complete

I say may I never be content

I say deliver me from cotton y fronts

I say deliver me from jockey for men

I say deliver me from cheap novelty boxer shorts

I say you have to give up

I say evolve, and let the chips fall where they may

This is your life, this is your life, this is your life, this is your life

Doesn't get any better than this

This is your life, this is your life, this is your life, this is your life

And it and it's ending one-minute at a time

Welcome to Panty Club

If this is your first night, you have to wear panties.

 

These panties will not free you from the realities of the world, however in wearing them you may realize that that which you assumed to be reality. That which you assumed to be definitive. That which you assumed to be all that was manly, or all that was feminine is in fact nothing at all.

Enjoy your panties, but know that you are not your panties any more than you were those grubby tighty whities you suffered with in the years before you liberated yourself from the prison of traditional men's underwear.